This is the question that I actually never imagined I’d get asked as much as I do: can I include my dog in my ceremony? Yes! Of course! Please! I would love you to include your dog because I now love your dog. Your dog can be an incredible addition to your ceremony, whether wedding or funeral, and as your celebrant I’m more than happy to incorporate your pets into your special day.

Pets at ceremonies can be so important because they are a member of the family.  I’ve seen brides ride their horse (or favourite cow!) to the wedding venue and people use their dogs as aisle escorts or ring bearers.  No one has ever mentioned including their cats and I think that’s just as well.

When I was a teacher, one of the concepts that would always get every student to feel a bit clever and sophisticated was the concept of duality: the idea of combining two very different things into a new whole.  If they didn’t explore this as part of their study of Jekyll and Hyde I would get very annoyed!

Duality sits quietly at the heart of every ceremony. In weddings it’s especially visible: two families, each with their own histories, values, quirks, memories — sometimes different cultures, races, or religions — arriving from completely separate worlds. And yet, because two people have chosen one another, those worlds begin to intertwine. What was once separate becomes something new.  Funerals contain duality too: you can be simultaneously grief-stricken and also laughing and finding joy in remembering the person who has died.  A funeral is a combination of a person’s past and what they were like in the present.  It is a liminal space where we acknowledge someone was so alive but we now only know them as dead.

Why music matters as a ritual

Music is one of the few forces that can collapse time. A single chord can carry you years backwards, straight into the vivid centre of a moment you thought you’d left behind. As Aretha Franklin said, it can be uplifting, encouraging, strengthening—a kind of emotional shorthand that reaches us faster than language ever could. And in ceremonies, where we gather to honour love, life, loss or transition, that power becomes even more pronounced. Hans Christian Andersen captured it simply: where words fail, music speaks.

I’ve written about handfasting, which I do love and seems to be the internet’s favourite wedding custom right now (hooray!)

But celebrants like me will always include any ritual, symbol or object that has meaning to you in a way that isn’t awkward, random or feels like box ticking.

And I think candles are seriously under-rated!

Whether a wedding or a funeral, they are so versatile and they are rooted in history and symbolism.  We use them all the time to mark important moments, don’t we!  If nothing else, most of us celebrate our birthdays with a candle (or several) in a cake.

Something that’s been quietly captivating me — through reading, travelling, and my celebrant training — is the long, winding history of ritual. How we all recognise certain ceremonial gestures without even thinking about them: rings slipped onto fingers, white dresses, wedding speeches, coffins, eulogies, the familiar swell of music at a funeral. These shared rituals feel universal, and yet the more I learn, the more I see how endlessly varied they are.

‍ ‍People are beginning to take real ownership of how they mark life’s moments. They’re experimenting, honouring their cultures, borrowing from traditions, or inventing something entirely new. It’s as if we’ve collectively stepped away from the idea that there are “proper” ways to celebrate or mourn; thank goodness for that! The old rules are loosening, and in their place is something far more human: choice, creativity, and the courage to shape a ceremony that feels true.

I think I first started reading about rituals five years ago.  Maybe it was Covid and being shut in for weeks at a time and no longer being able to connect with my students and team but having more time to read and watch the films or shows that I finally had time to.  Discovery of Witches was a big hit in my house.  I think I watched season 1 twice in one day!

Maybe it’s a Millennial thing – we are after all the first children of the internet, we still have our roots in the analogue but want to connect with something deeper. 

There’s a new season of ‘Four Seasons’ on Netflix!  Hooray! It’s actually been out for over a month but I’ve only just gotten around to watching it.  It’s about a group of friends, three couples, who have gotten into the habit of meeting up several times a year, once a season in fact, and going on holiday together.  The show charts these intensely loving, but increasingly tumultuous, relationships.

Spoiler alert…

If you are anything like me (aka doomscrolling at 2am because it is TOO HOT RIGHT NOW) you may have seen the articles and reports:

Everyone, and their Mum, is becoming a celebrant!

Why are Millennial women obsessed with becoming celebrants?

Love cats? Have ADHD? Maybe a bit spiritual?  Congratulations, you’ll make a perfect celebrant.

It still makes me smile that celebrants — a job I didn’t even know existed until October 2025 — seem to be everywhere now.

Most of us have sat through a funeral where something felt… off. A name said wrong. A script that’s clearly been dusted off from earlier in the day. Someone at the front going through the motions while the rest of us sit there thinking, this isn’t them at all.

It’s a horrible feeling — and an unkind one — especially when we’re already carrying grief.

But if you’ve ever left a funeral thinking: “That felt really personal.” or “It was like they truly knew them.” there was probably a funeral celebrant involved.

What on Earth am I doing? It’s summer… allegedly. I know the rain feels a bit relentless right now and those heavy, sulking grey clouds might suggest otherwise, but yes — we are technically in the season of sunshine and sandals.

So why am I here, happily writing about winter ceremonies?

Who doesn’t love a festival wedding! Flower crowns, Doc Martens, smash burger food trucks, vows under the open sky, and the kind of speeches that make you cry into your biodegradable pint cup.

Festival weddings are having a moment. And it’s no surprise — couples want a day that feels like them, not just a tick-box ceremony with small, wobbly chairs, warm rose and a DJ who just hasn’t understood the vibe.

And at the heart of every brilliant outdoor, mud-splashed, joy-drenched, glittery wedding?

A celebrant like me!

(Spoiler: we’re the people making you laugh, cry, and say “That was SO them.”)

Before the training, during the training, after the training, whenever anyone asks me what I’m up to I explain ‘Oh, I’m going to be a Celebrant!’ and I usually get a very polite-but-confused look.

“Sorry… a what?”

So let’s clear this up once and for all: what IS a celebrant?